The Girl Who Wasn't There

This is the second day that I can't go to sleep. I think I caught Mihir's insomnia. So what did I do with my extra time? I listened to Counting Crows.

I don't know why I want to know who Maria is. Maybe because she is mentioned in so many songs. She is a ghost to anyone who listens to the Crows. She is a phantom. And a piece of her is in every song, according to Duritz. So I guess I am justified in my interest in her. But tonight, she has become an obsession. Hopefully, just for tonight.

I had heard about an article in which a reporter from some 801 magazine goes in depth to try to find out who Maria is. He does everything he can from talking to the number one fan to tracking down Mr. Jones himself. All roads lead to nothing, and the reporter concludes with many theories and no answers.

One theory that I latched onto is that Maria committed suicide. It totally makes sense. In the "Round Here" music video, the Maria character is last seen falling into water and sinking. The lyrics say "she looks up at the building, says she's thinking of jumping," but it never says she actually jumps. The music video seems to confirm that she jumped. If she did jump, it would make sense that Duritz would mention the strange coincidence in "Mr. Jones." The real Mr. Jones said there was actually a Maria there the night the songs speaks of, but the Maria was a friend of Jones' father, not someone Duritz would have known for a while. Considering this, it makes sense that he writes about the Maria. If Adam's Maria had committed suicide, then anyone with the same name would cause him to remember the Maria he knew.

In "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby," Duritz says "there is a piece of Maria in every song that I sing." Two plausible reasons for this are that 1) Maria was a girl who broke his heart and he thinks about all the missed chances and everything all the time, or 2) Maria killed herself, Duritz thinks of her often, and he misses her. I think the latter supports my theory.

I take refuge in the idea that Maria killed herself, because it means that the matter is settled. If Maria is actually still out there, that means that Duritz is still haunted by the memory of this woman, and that sucks. Plus, if she's still out there, that means that Duritz has lied to all his fans (with great detail, no less), and that sucks too because Duritz feels like family.

I think I might be getting into troubled territory with Duritz becoming family. I feel like I can relate to Duritz so much, yet I have never met him or know anything about him. I just know that he sings about a lot of girls and is in pain. But I think I latch onto him because if I were to write songs, they would be like his in that I have a girl who haunts me and I am perpetually sad. I hope the next Counting Crows album talks about Duritz's happiness and how he found the love of his life who wasn't Maria, showing that he moved on. That would be nice. This obsession with Maria is ridiculous, seriously. Oh well.