I'm in a rambling mood tonight. Forewarning.
I'm getting more or less bored with Facebook. I'm not allowing it to consume me like it once did. Instead, I take days between the times I check it. In doing so, I'm less obsessed with it. However, tonight, I found myself checking her page more than once. Awesome. I need to learn how to fall out of love with the idea of someone.
I accepted some friend requests and perused some walls. Mihir has sent me several lengthy messages that I have avoided reading because if I read them, then I'll have to take the time to respond to them, and I don't have the time to do that right now.
I saw pictures of an old friend who has a new girlfriend. It was strange seeing him being romantic. But I think about that the way I think about all the people from my past-they won't stay the same. Hell, I'm not the same, why should I expect them to be? I set double standards all the time.
Sometimes rooming without a roommate gets lonely. Take right now, for instance. If there were someone sharing the room with me, I could at least peek at them out of the corner of my eye and observe them studying, reading, playing on the computer, etc. and at least feel less lonely because someone is in close proximity to me. But right now, everyone is shut behind their wooden doors and I'm behind mine too, wishing that someone else's name shared the space on the outside of the door.
Everyone gets lonely. But tonight, I feel like the only one.
Teenage angst is understood when experienced, but is impossible to communicate with words.
I did down some Nyquil earlier. Maybe that's why I'm so reflective. Fuck it. I'll let myself feel sad today. Hopefully I can sleep it off.
No comments:
Post a Comment