Facebook Day 6 and Musings

I feel pressure to have as many friends on Facebook as I can. I think this pressure is ridiculous and self-imposed (which is even more ridiculous than the pressure itself). Why should I be embarrassed that I only have a few friends on Facebook? Is that supposed to be indicative to others about myself in real life? It's not, and it's not. However, I still hesitate to friend request some people because I don't want them to see that I only have 30 friends, think I'm a loser, and no longer want to hang out with me. Why would I want to be friends with someone if they were that shallow? I don't think people really are that way. Well, maybe I do. Even though I know they're not. 

I posted a video that I saw on Sandra's tumblr. The speaker is this woman who teaches spoken word poetry to high schoolers and uses it to show them how to express themselves creatively. It's an inspiring and emotional talk. It makes me want to write a best-selling book about my life. Not for the fame, but for the sharing of my story. Although I don't think my story is very interesting. I think it's getting better, though. 

Sometimes I pray that God would show Himself to me. He never does. At least, he never does in a way that I notice. Is that my fault or His? I wonder if I would follow Him if once, just once, He came to me in human form like I've asked Him to do for so long. I think He did once. But I shrugged him off and rejected any form of friendship with Him because He was socially inept. I assumed that wasn't God. But the more I think about it, the more I think it was. I don't take care of the outcast and the unloveable--I just pretend to.