Clever Title That I Can't Come Up With At The Moment

I'll forget about you long enough
To forget why I need to.

........

I felt a part of something today. I felt like I belonged to something important, something beyond my construction, something perfect.

That something was the night strike. Around 4:45 today, I was debating with myself whether or not I wanted to even go. I felt obligated, like I was becoming unwillingly tied down and shackled to an unwanted task. Looking back, I don't know if this was an evil force working on me or if I was just fearing intimacy. Because that's what the night strikes basically are. A group of people ride around and drop off food to people, all the while saying "God bless you" and making small talk while en route. I had decided that I wasn't going to go (because I'm in college, I can decide what I do and I do not do) and hung out in Drew's dorm room for a while. Later, I looked at my phone to check the time, and I was surprised to discover that I still had enough time to make it to the strike. Realizing this gave me some sort of emotional boost, and I headed out the door.

When I arrived at Love and Care, I walked up to see a bunch of unfamiliar teenagers loitering around the entrance. I knew they were college students here in order to earn service hours, because that was what happened last week. Strangely, I saw several people I have classes with. I saw Julie packing sandwiches and Janet loading the truck. As I walked through the door, David greeted me by name, and I patted him on the shoulder. It was then that I knew. I knew that I have started to become a part of a community of people who care about the same thing I do--serving and loving the poor. And what made it better was that I knew the routine. I knew that the ice buckets will go to Momma Jo and they go in the truck in the bottom sliding doors on the left. I knew the regular procedures, and all the other kids didn't. I know this is pride, but it feels good to know how to do something that others don't. Now, I'm not saying that I know everything about the strikes--by all means. I just knew a few things that made my knowledge greater than that of the others my age.

Anyway, preparations had ended, and I thought Audrey wasn't coming this week, but suddenly she appeared, we were prayed out, and everyone loaded into the truck and van. Today marked the first time that Janet acknowledged me. And not only that, she acted friendly towards me. I view Janet as the momma bear of the operation, probably because she has the strongest will out of any of the volunteers. It was nice to hang around with her in a fun way. That whole last paragraph didn't make any sense. I realize that. It's 2:45am. Cut me some slack.

I copied how Janet interacts with the people who come to the truck, and it made me feel more comfortable because I felt like I knew what I was doing. That was nice.

Overall, I felt as though I belonged. It was wonderful. I know for sure I will be going back next week. And the week after that. I'm beginning to care about the regulars at Love and Care. I think that's special, and holy.