Truth

Today I began to think about truth, which I guess means I started to think about God, or gods. I tried to define what truth is (a hard task), and I concluded that a truth is something that motives my actions. I act based on what I believe is truth. I tried to make a list, but I stopped after a while after running out of ideas. I started general, then moved to specific.

1. Nicolas Sparks will make women cry.
2. Lemonade is the best drink.
3. Running makes me not feel lonely.
4. To fall asleep, I have to turn on my left side, then roll to my right, then back to the middle.
5. I love my sister.
6. I want to be an individual, or at least my perception of an individual.
7. I get nervous around people who I think are cooler than me.
8. Talking about important, deep topics gives me joy.
9. I will die.

Now, I think numbers 3, 4, 6, and 7 are the ones that dictate my daily actions, mostly subconsciously. I'm not aware that I want to eat alone because I want to be secure in myself. It just feels right. I did realize that I mostly wander aimlessly through the weeks, searching for something to entertain me, something to remind me that I'm wasting time not doing anything significant. However, sometimes I do things that I think are significant, like writing on this blog, making short films, reading. I grasp at expressions of life, but the majority of my time is spent living, but not being alive.