Typical Day

I'm still recovering from a cold. This morning, when my alarm went off, I decided I'd skip my 9am Bible class again, something I do frequently because it's boring and the teacher doesn't take attendance. However, I enjoy my 10am Media Messages class, so, while still sleepy and lethargic, I set my alarm for just enough time to get up, eat breakfast, and make it on time to class.

I got to class five minutes early. There were only three people in the classroom, one being the proud, gun-on-college-campuses activist who annoys me with her obvious self-approval. I sat down and checked Pitchfork to pass the dead time. Pitchfork and I agreed that the new Strokes album was less than noteworthy (they gave it a 5.9 out of 10). People filled the classroom, one being the cute girl with a nose piercing and reads Chuck Klosterman. She's dating a guy I know, or at least "talking" to him, and that gives me a reason not to approach her and make conversation and show that I'm interested. I've realized that I find almost every girl with a bad side attractive (or at least what I think portrays having a bad side), and I watch them with frozen curiosity as they walk past, unaware of my transfixion.

I've often thought about relationships with girls. I've wondered why I can effortlessly talk to girls on a friend to friend basis, but when I even entertain the possibility of liking a girl in my mind, I get nervous and tense and sweaty. Well, that's not true--I'm sweaty all the time. Nevertheless, I think the reason behind my problem is the same for guys everywhere--vulnerability. When you like someone, you become vulnerable. And most guys don't like to be vulnerable, because it means you don't have control over the situation anymore. You aren't in control if the girl will like you, it's up to her, so all you can do is hope and wait. Which sucks. However, this is how it has to be. It is magnificently rewarding to realize that your vulnerability paid off when you find yourself in a wild, unpredictable, unbelievably-fulfilling relationship with a girl whose smile is your ultimate prize.

After class, I noticed the cute girl standing outside, waiting for someone. I nonchalantly slid my phone out of my pocket and acted like I was reading something while I watched her. Sometimes, I think of myself as someone who is fearless around women, a suave badass that girls flock to because they love his indifferent attitude. But I think girls, more than anything, like guys who know what they want and go after it, and that's one thing I'm not good at, but I'm working on it.

I entered Moody among the masses of rushing students and found my seat next to Drew, my friend who has a girlfriend and always wears a baseball hat. Brandon, a quiet yet silly accounting major who almost joined the Air Force (and looks like it), came up and sat on my right. Today was Wednesday, which means Praise Chapel, which means everyone stands and sings except me. I read On The Road.

Every ACU student is required to attend chapel 55 times each semester, and attendance is recorded through a card swiping system. Students slide their IDs through one of the many card readers located on the railing of Moody Collusium, and that's how they receive credit. I watched today as students funneled slowly down the stairs, waiting in an unconsciously formed line to slide their cards. I tried to come up with a metaphor for what it looked like, but I couldn't think of one.

After chapel, I walked with Drew, Brandon, and Allen (Brandon's roommate and cousin) back to the dorm, where I continued On The Road until lunchtime.

Lunch in the Bean, our cafeteria, is always entertaining. We crammed five people around a table barely built to hold four. Evan, my thoughtful friend who currently has five women pandering for his affection, was the fifth. Before he sat down, we observed him talking to two girls at a table across the room. I narrated what I thought they were saying, with Evan saying things like "I'm smooth, and you want me," and the girls saying in a high pitched voice "ooh, Evan, I love you...". I shouldn't wonder why I don't have a girlfriend. During lunch, I looked over to the eating room that is enclosed in glass panels. I deemed it the Holy of Holys in the Bean and imagined myself shooting the glass pannels with a machine gun in slow motion, then yelling to all those eating inside it, "the temple curtain has been torn, bitch!" I told my fantasy to the guys at the table, and they said I would probably get in trouble for having a gun in the Bean. I see now that they just have a lack of imagination.

After lunch, I walked out the campus center and heard someone yell "hey BEN!" I looked over and there was Bek, my bubbly friend who always makes me feel loved, running towards me. She had on an interesting yellow shirt and her bleech blonde hair was pulled back. She said that someone had earlier called her a sun goddess, and I agreed. We walked over to the benches from which she had run to see Jake, my old high school buddy who is known for being a solid guy in every way possible, and his friend Wes, who almost worked on the Optimist videography staff with me. I sat down. Jake and Wes were studying Greek, but most of the time we played a game where, if you see someone you know walking by, you say "hey" and then their name. However, you don't say it to them, you say it so only the four of us can hear. The game is basically saying how many people we know. I didn't know that many. After a while the three of them got up to go somewhere, and I rambled on back to the dorm.

I continued reading Kerouac's novel, learning about Sal and his trip from New Jersey to Denver to San Fransisco, and his adventures all along the way with Dean, Carlo, and all the other beat hipsters. Then, when 1:50pm rolled around, I walked to work at the Learning Studio on the upper floor of the ACU Library, which is where I currently sit typing.

This has been my day so far, without the many minute thoughts, feelings, interactions and assumptions that mold together to create what we remember as a typical day.