You Are

I tried to follow a friend's blog, and in order to do that, I had to sign into my account. After I did that, my name and picture came up that I had assigned to it years earlier. It was my favorite picture of me and her. I think it's good that I'm referring to her as her instead of you. I was struck by the way she was pervasive in my life then. How happy I was with her. She meant everything to me. And now, it's nothing. We're nothing. How does that happen? I understand friends changing, but we weren't just friends. We had part of each others' hearts.

I think I loved her, but I didn't know it.

Things change. And people leave. And life doesn't fucking stop for anybody.






I guess the only way to let go is to not think about it until it's gone.

........

I think part of letting go is getting rid of things you held onto. I wrote this in May and have left it hanging in the draft section for months. I have dozens in the draft section that I can't rid myself of yet, but hopefully, this is the start.




You are "Eet" and "Samson" by Regina Spektor and "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac.
You are 500 Days of Summer.
You are Amanda's house.
You are Lit Meet.
You are Concordia Lutheran.
You are jumping into pools.
You are cross country.
You are Garden State.
You are Lauren's gameroom.
You are Sky Creek golf course at sunrise.
You are Curious George.
You are T-Mobile.
You are Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
You are The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
You are Z.