Boys Don't Cry

"The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight."

After watching Boys Don't Cry, it felt good to sit unmoving as the credits rolled up the screen. I don't know if that was emotional drainage or shock or confusion--all I know is that it felt right. Maybe that's what Teena Brandon felt about kissing girls. Maybe she didn't know why she felt that she should, all she knew that it felt right.

Boys Don't Cry is the story of a kid doing things without knowing for what purpose. For the rest of the article, I will be referring to the character Brandon Teena as a he, because that's what he wanted. Brandon wanted what everyone else whats--happiness. But from the beginning of his life, he has had heartache and hardship. So, when he grows up and finds that he wants to try being another gender, he goes for it. Brandon grew up in the type of life where anything goes, where you do what you want and no one will stop you. Well, to some extent.

For a moment, Brandon finds happiness. He becomes a member of a surrogate family with other people who also have problems; he meets a girl that he falls in love with; he has friends who accept him for who they think he is, who he wants to be.

Does it mean that Lana becomes a lesbian because she loves Brandon even after she learns of his true gender? Maybe. But that's not what's important--what's important is that Lana's love for Brandon does not change when she finds out the truth about him (she may have doubts, but the final scene in Candace's house shows obvious proof that she still loves him). Is that admirable or shameful? She thought she loved a man, but she ended up loving a woman. Maybe Lana fell in love with the intrinsic traits of Brandon that did not change with the sexual organs he had. She loved "that something about him" that was who Brandon truly was. That has to be admirable.

My favorite lines in the movie are about leaving. When she pulls away and shows hesitation, Brandon tells her "be sure you get out." The subtle whisper of a line somehow drives a steak through my heart, when I think about Brandon leaving Lana behind, but both of them trying to escape the invisible strangle of that town. And as John bursts into Candace's house and corners Brandon, Lana appears in the doorway and, horrified, asks Brandon "why didn't you leave?" She was asking him why he didn't get out while he had the chance, while the door to a new world and a new life was still open. I don't know what it is about lines dealing with escaping--for some reason, they affect me deeply.

Obviously, Hilary Swank did a terrific job playing Brandon. If you want a review about her acting job, go read Roger Ebert or somebody else more qualified. For me, throughout the film, I kept wondering how she could go home after a full day of passionately kissing other women. But that's just me.

Ultimately, Boys Don't Cry left me feeling a few different ways. I was excited for Lana, because the end of the film presented her as getting out, like she had talked about; but it says later that she would up having a kid and moving back to her hometown. Brandon died, John and Tom will die in prison, so what is good about this movie? Well, let me tell you. I'm a person who probably lives in the past too much--memories are my happiness. And for Brandon, he had some memories worth dying for. He found someone who loved him for who he was and who he wanted to be. He had his time with her, his time with his friends. He had happiness, if even for a moment. This picture is about people finding happiness. And they do. That's what's good about it.