It's strange, now that I'm beginning to meet people, to think how terrible the first few days were for me. I felt more alone than I ever have, even while everyone else probably felt the same way and was trying to make friends too. But I couldn't escape the omnipotent fear I had when I went to a function and realized that I knew no one, and everyone else seemed to know someone else. I have never been more outside my comfort zone than the first three days at ACU.
But today, I made friends. I found guys on my hall who weren't tools, and we played "PIG" on a miniature basketball goal in one of their rooms. Then the game died down, and we just sat around talking, laughing at a ridiculous "would you rather" book, and listening to Michael Buble (Allen's choice). Then Brock, Cody, and Mihir stopped by for a little bit, so I got to see some people I knew very well, something I didn't expect to want. I have never been in a place where I couldn't go and be surrounded by people I know. I guess I could here, with people like Blaine, Jake, and Amanda. But Mabee Hall is full of guys I've never met (except 3), and I have to learn how to meet people if I want to feel at home.
That's an essential part of the college experience--meeting people. It's like going on dozens of speed dates, over and over, trying to see what people are the type of people you want to hang around. It's frustrating, hell, down right agonizing at first. But then you meet one, then another, and suddenly your in a room of six guys that you consider cool, trying to bounce a mini basketball of the side wall into a hoop hung on the door. It begins to level out.
Sometime today, the lyrics of the song "Promise" by Spoken came into my head. I've never had a song resonate with me so much as this did. It literally felt like the song was written for me at this specific moment in my life. I kept saying them to myself when I felt really alone. And it helped.
(Chorus)
Things will get better this I promise you
And I know that you won’t feel this way forever
Things will get better this I promise you
And I know loneliness won’t last forever
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