As a recently discovered introvert, I have found that the first few days of college are frightening, stressful, and dreadful. Those who are extroverted won't understand, because being with people, probably even people they don't know, gives them energy and a sense of fulfillment. As for me, it's taxing. I hate having to search for friends, scout out and be outgoing. Plus, it seems like the guys on my hall are all bros. My movie collection weirds some people out. If only I can find someone who listens to the Strokes or likes indie films...
I'm sure there are people in this freshman class that don't watch TV or play video games or listen to the current pop music. There have to be weird people like me out there. I hope I meet them soon.
To make matters worse, everywhere I go, I see guys traveling in groups. Either they already met some people and became friends, or they all went to high school together. I could go hang out with people who went to FWC, but, honestly, that's something I want to avoid.
Don't get me wrong, my friends from FWC are some of the best friends in my life. But coming here and exclusively hanging out with them seems like I'm relying too much on old friendships and not attempting to make new ones. I do want to make new friends. Just not with tools.
It's hard being insecure and having your outgoing parents at college with you. My mom has already tried to set me up, help me meet people. I end up slipping away from her conversations just before she can introduce me. I want to find my own friends, to do it myself. If she finds friends for me, I'll feel simultaneously incapable and attached. Neither of which I want.
I wonder when I'll start meeting good people, interesting people. Because I know it will happen. I'll look back and remember this time when I was nervous and move on, because I will have already met people and started relationships. It's the in-between time, right now, that makes me want to hide in my dorm. But that won't help anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment