What Are Friends?

Why are people friends with one another? I'm talking about good friends, like Drew and Jake and Amanda. What is it about us that makes us want to hang out with each other whenever, where ever?

I ask this because I realize I don't do very much. I don't play video games, I don't like sports, I don't listen to generic music, and here, in the first week of college, it seems like those are the only things that people do. Why do I have friends?

I assume it's because the people I'm closest to found something in me, and I in them, that has nothing to do with what we do, but instead, who we are. However, I don't fully understand this. Why can I go to Drew's cottage for a week and feel completely comfortable, whereas I can't hold many conversations here for more than three minutes? Is it because Drew and I had classes in school together, and played basketball on the same team? I did that with other guys and I'm not good friends with them. Why are close friends close? What makes up that common, strong bond that holds people to each other?

I could see myself getting involved in service, like projects and stuff, because I think the people there are the type of people I would want to know. Those who go to service projects because they want to aren't usually superficial. They are kind, and they care about others. But would I just be using service as a way to feel loved?

Essentially, that's what everyone is looking for, a place where they can feel completely loved. Maybe bros find it in the community they gain through video games, sports, and rap music. Maybe some girls find it in looking pretty and going shopping and the people they meet along the way. But for me, someone who doesn't really do anything, where can I find love?

There is a feeling of peace when I'm with my close friends. We don't have to struggle to come up with things to talk about. And even if we can't find things to talk about, we can just be quiet, still with each other.

I guess my problem is that I am looking for the deep kind of relationship in the first week. I'm grasping, groping, longing for someone to cling to, someone who will love me even when I don't do anything interesting. Should I stop doing that? Should I stop searching for lifelong friends and try to enjoy the shallow, fleeting friendships I make with people? But those friendships are founded on what you do (what movies you watch, what happens in pop culture, what is funny, etc), and if I don't know what the latest song playing on KISS FM is, how can I engage in those friendships that are based on that type of thing?

I think too much.